Riker Scale: All-Time Oscar and Razzie Selections

With the real-life Oscars a week away, I’m giving away my Oscar picks for excellence in cinematic achievements… but with my favorite movies instead of only 2016 flicks. In addition to the 15 Academy Award categories, I’ll announce eight Razzie-inspired awards for worst performances. Enjoy!

Oscars

Best Picture: The Incredibles

The No. 1 movie on my Riker Scale list gets the first award by default. To paraphrase Buddy Pine/Syndrome from the movie, I am its number one fan.

Best Director: Brad Bird, The Incredibles

It didn’t take long for The Incredibles to notch another award. Recently I watched the whole movie with the commentary of Brad Bird and Bird’s creation is really spectacular.

Best Actor: Tim Robbins as Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption

Robbins’ character of Andy Dufresne is one of the most likeable characters in film, something that stands out especially when he’s placed in the setting of a brutal and depressing prison. His acting companion Morgan Freeman was also stellar.

Best Actress: Sandra Bullock as Leigh Anne Tuohy, The Blind Side

In 2009, Bullock won this category in the Academy Awards and I couldn’t agree more. Bullock’s performance as Leigh Anne Tuohy, the adoptive mother of now-NFL player Michael Oher, is the reason why the movie works so well.

Best Supporting Actor: Al Pacino as Michael Corleone, The Godfather

More Oscar trivia- in 1972, three of the five nominees in the Best Supporting Actor category were from one movie- The Godfather. I’d give the edge to Pacino, whose character of Michael Corleone was the protagonist and star of the film.

Best Supporting Actress: Daisy Ridley as Rey, Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Based off the seventh Star Wars installment, Ridley’s character, Rey, seems to be the best protagonist in the Star Wars universe so far. I don’t know if she qualifies as a supporting actress, but her performance, in a franchise infamous for bad acting, deserves an award.

Best Original Screenplay: The Incredibles

Number three for the best movie of all-time. Fun fact- the film was nominated in this category in 2004.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Jurassic Park

Asking whether the book or the movie of Jurassic Park is the reason for its success is essentially the same as asking whether Bill Belichick or Tom Brady is the reason for the Patriots’ Super Bowls- both the book and movie are so phenomenal that it is impossible to pick.

Best Animated Feature Film: The Incredibles

Make that four for The Incredibles. The movie won this category in 2004.

Best Foreign Language Film: Life is Beautiful

I saw this movie on a class field trip in middle school and even though the movie was dubbed in English, it was still a masterpiece.

Best Original Score: Michael Giacchino, The Incredibles

One for the thumb for The Incredibles. This soundtrack remains the only one that I’ve purchased, and it’s one that I listen to regularly. Tracks Life’s Incredible Again and Kronos Unveiled were truly spectacular, along with the unforgettable main theme Glory Days.

Best Original Song: You’ve Got a Friend in Me in Toy Story, Randy Newman

The opening moments of Toy Story, as well as the Pixar universe, are accompanied perfectly with a song I’ve loved since I can remember.

Best Sound Editing/Mixing: Star Wars: A New Hope

I’ll be honest- sound editing is my kryptonite when I make short films or Riker Rants. So I’ll go with the 1980 winner and classic, Empire Strikes Back, which deserves an award.

Best Costume Design: Star Wars: A New Hope

The previous award also could’ve gone to New Hope, but costume design certainly goes to the original Star Wars film, which won the award in 1977. The outfits of Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and Darth Vader are among the most iconic in cinematic history.

Best Visual Effects: The Adventures of Tin-Tin

Whereas movies like Toy Story and Shrek are computer-animated but are intended to have a cartoon-type style, The Adventures of Tin-Tin was computer animation intended to look real, and it sure does. Even though it came out in the early 2010s, The Adventures of Tin-Tin has the best animation I’ve ever seen.

 

Razzies

Worst Picture: Napoleon Dynamite

I’ll admit, Napoleon Dynamite was a funny movie and there are probably worse movies from a technical standpoint. But in my mind, Napoleon Dynamite is so hilariously horrible it deserves this honor, hands down.

Worst Director: Michael Bay, Transformers

I’d been waiting years to see Transformers and had even read the junior novelizations a couple times as a kid. But when I finally watched the movie, it was junk. Yes, it had action, but Transformers’ plot was non-existent.

Worst Actor: Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker, Spiderman 3

I enjoyed the first two Spiderman movies, with the second installment ranking in my top 50 movies of all time. But I can’t justify the putrid third Spiderman movie. There’s one scene where Peter Parker (Maguire) goes haywire in a bar that is cringe-worthy and ruins the movie.

Worst Actress: Bryce Dallas Howard as Claire Dearing, Jurassic World

Jurassic World was a good movie, but I really wish that they’d taken Howard’s character out of the movie. She was one character I was rooting for to be eaten by a T-Rex.

Worst Supporting Actor: Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Attack of the Clones

I’ll give some blame to George Lucas for the weak character development of Anakin Skywalker, but Hayden Christensen’s performance as the Chosen One was career-ending. The Anakin Christensen created was creepy, moody, and unconvincing, and was probably the reason the prequel trilogy gets such a bad rap. The Razzie Awards, which gave Christensen this award twice, agreed.

Worst Supporting Actress: Natalie Portman, Attack of the Clones

I’ll add Anakin’s wife from the prequel trilogy to the awards list just because their “romance” stained the Star Wars universe.

Worst Animated Feature: Puss in Boots

I would say Shrek 4, but I only watched ten minutes of the movie before leaving the room. Puss in Boots was weak, forgettable, and put another blemish on the popular Shrek franchise.

Worst Sequel: Like Mike 2

The original Like Mike, about a boy wonder who destroys NBA competition, was one of my favorite movies as a kid. Its sequel, which pits a different boy in the streetball world, lacked the magic and enjoyment factor of the first.

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